The Nigerian movie industry has witnessed a tremendous growth over the years. We now have super fantastic crop of actors parading our screens, exceptional movies with social messages are being churned out and no doubt, Nollywood is one of Nigeria’s greatest exports. However, inspite of this impressive development, there have been certain let downs which, with each passing day are becoming difficult to ignore.  So, let’s highlight some of those annoying issues that are being shoved in our faces in Nigerian films. Candidly, the Yoruba section of the Nigerian movie industry is the major culprit here.

(1) Fetishism- This is the biggest snag of the industry. 7 out of 10 of Nigerian movies are laced with fetish or witchcraft scenes. Infact, we are now convinced that visiting a native doctor would solve a problem quicker and better than seeking medical help.

(2) Subtitles- How best to ease off stress than watching a poorly subtitled Nigerian movie? Whoever told their writers all sentences have to be translated literally need several smacks in the butts. For example, a woman who is angry with her son might reply his greeting thus, "Ti n ba kaaro nko" meaning, what's good about the morning? Or please don't greet me. My people would "upload", "what if I don't good morning?" What the hell is that?

(3) Shooting- A man would be stabbed several times and his singlet would be as white as snow. Guys, we don't mind tastytime or zobo? Then, in yoruba movies, it takes 24 hours or maximum of 48 days for a deep wound to heal. 

(4) Car and Passerby- In most street scenes, there's always this fine or ugly lady waiting for a cab at the road side. And a young, handsome man who never knows his way around pulls over, asks for direction, zooms off a bit, reverses and offers to give her a lift. She turns down the offer at first and after persuasion, she enters the car, they exchange numbers, the rest is history. Meanwhile, ever since i started giving out directions, I have never been offered a lift, infact they just zoom off before I finish talking. Maybe i should try

(5) Running in the street- has anyone noticed? There's always a car waiting somewhere for every child or adult running on the street. He or she has to be hit by a vehicle. Yesoo, abi what’s the purpose of the running? And of course he has to hug the bonnet, slide and die.

(6) Makeup- What will it cost to employ professional makeup artists for their movie projects? The makeup on some actresses, (Yoruba actresses especially) can make you puke. Purple lipstick, silver eye shadow and then a straight-lined brow. It is always an eyesore Sigh!

(7) Bland sound track- I'm sure you have something to say on this.  And you'll agree with me that instrumentals are better used than those bland/wacky soundtracks they make us listen to. Soundtracks that tell the entire story are the most annoying. And then they start singing like strangled cats. Oh please!

(8) Poison- Please help an ignorant lady here. Do they really sell poison in chemist’s shops? I mean the one in liquid form, with POISON boldly written across the bottle? Dear filmmakers, once you bring out a bottle, cry, down the contents and then writhe in pains, leave the rest to us. It’s pointless writing POISON on bottles. We can think!

(9) Date/romantic scenes: Some date scenes discourage you from going into a relationship. In fairness, some are brilliantly shot. If they are not hugging pillow up and down, they run round a certain palm tree till one of them decides to fall down. Please stop that!  There was one I saw, I actually forced myself to forget the title. The couple visited an eatery, bought ONE bottle of Maltina drink and ONE piece of chicken and then shared it between them. Taaaar!!! If you will take out of your lover’s food, you should at least have one plate to yourself.

(10) Diagnosis/Hospital Scene- Their Doctors be like, “your son has been diagnosed of cancer, we need to get some Panadol extra and Vitamin C which cost N100, 000. You have to deposit N50, 000 before we commence treatment”.  And then the person playing the role of the Doctor turns out to be, a go-to actor for crime roles. Sigh!

To be continued



Ololade is a passionate writer, Loyal Nigerian and Creative Director of Loladeville .

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  1. Plsssssssssss...... Tell them. more reason i don't like watching their movies.

  2. Hahahahaha, wish I cld get some smileys to badt gan for here to show hw I feel. Lolade, pls now clown like u. Ur article reminded me of why I stopped sitting down with nigerian movies at large for lik 15yrs nw, and stil counting, except the ones dt wld mak me laugh til my eyes re laced with tear. Those ones too myt not make sense, bt at least if it made me laugh dt way, its cool, eg sunday dagboru, kos trouble etc.

    Thanks 'lolly pop'

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  4. Though funny buh these things are quite embarrassing...One other thing I have noticed is that whenever there is a phone conversation about a meeting or contract, they must
    1. say the name of the contract as if the person who approved it didn't know which contact is being awarded out.
    2. say the contract fee/quotation etc.
    3. mention the location of the office (they have been going all ages before the contract was awarded) and echo the date and time as if they have hearing problem.

    Well, writing is not much of my hobby so let me leave the remaining for Queen Lolade, buh I won't forget to comment on the 'continuity' or whatever they call it...someone entering the kitchen before the next scene which lasted 10mins, will still be by the door, entering the kitchen...after ten minutes! haba!!

  5. I hate it when parents talk and say something like 'how is Lola; our last born' whooooooooo cares if she's ur unborn ovary??? I mean, ma dad wil just ask ma mum hw is 'joe' or somfing.
    They don't have to always try to say or paint a clear pix of everyfing. We ar not fools abeg.
    And viewers I hate it when I sit beside u and u complain abt d movie...just use d remote

  6. I fink the federal bank or some govt agency has to do somfing abt this nollywood pple spend *money*. U go see ma wey be lik unemployed shoe maker dey talk 'I wil give you 5million and I just dashing you' If d man had 500K I'm sure he won appear in that much to talk ßƱ† sef